You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
