Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
