i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
