Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
