I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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