Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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