Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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