I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
