id be glad to
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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