Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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