It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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