no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
