He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
