Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
