Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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