i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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