Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
