I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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