Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
