last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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