Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
