I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
