I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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