I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
