What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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