Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
