i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
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and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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