UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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