Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
