What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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