They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
