words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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