Is it because I queefed?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
