i barfeds in our rink
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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