I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
