He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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