the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
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I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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