He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I need a beard to bite.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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