There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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