anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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