even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
