a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize