Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I did not marry a roomba.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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