I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
