So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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