Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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