it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
