She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize