we're blogging at a bar
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
