I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
