theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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