Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
