Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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