I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
