i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize