bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize