Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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