Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
